Ode to a French Pastry
Moderator: Sandman
- IrishCream
- Posts: 238
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:30 pm
Ode to a French Pastry
French Biscuit opens a door that has a sign saying "Free Anime Giveaway" on the front. She sees a pitch black room and is reluctant to enter. However, it is free anime...
Don't be alarmed by the darkness that is mi casa, for it is now su casa as well. Here, let me sooth your fears by lighting a candle*. I'm sorry, did that act slightly disgust you? I'm sensitive to such emotions, for I can sense the disdain in your person and see the vomit on the floor. Worry not, for if that did not set the mood, perhaps some music will do the trick.
...Hmmm
I see that your clothes are still on. Maybe this is more up your alley.
...Hmmm
Well I tried my best. Anyway, that can't stop us from enjoying a delicious meal. I worked tirelessly to make sure this was the perfect dinner.
It takes over 35 minutes to cook in the microwave. I made it to show my dedication to our love. I'm sure you've already noticed that the door behind you is locked. It's good to see that you've made sure that even if you came down with a momentary case of insanity you wouldn't be able to leave and call the local authorities. You, my dear, are a delight! Before we dine on delicious radiation cuisine, let me give you a tour de force of my new castle. I moved out of the old one due to...unfortunate circumstances. Worry not about the scars covering my face; I'm not suicidal or anything, those are just from glass shards.
Oh, I do believe we've stumbled upon my "game room"!
As you can tell, I'm into the age old arts of "naughty". Rowr! Behave yourself for just a moment as we continue on. I assure you, we'll be returning to THAT particular room 30 minutes after diner, so as not to cramp up.
Opens basement door
"Please sir, may we eat this week?"
YOU'LL EAT WHEN I GET THAT THESIS PAPER FOR MY PSYCHOLOGY FINAL! AND IF ONE MORE OF YOU DROPS DEAD FROM MALNUTRITION, I'M REALLY GONNA GET ANGRY!
Slams door shut
*Sigh* I'm not even taking any classes...
I apologize for their retched odor. They bathe in their own filth, unfortunately. I wanted to show you my work room, but those children are so lazy I'm afraid hardly any work gets done around here! Hah! HAH HAH! Ah, jokes do so tickle my fancy. Speaking of tickling my fancy, if you'll follow me to the big screen that plays hardcore animal porn 24/7...
Banging on the door
Oh my word, will they ever give up? I'm sorry, but a rival company has been trying to lure my employees to work for them.
"THIS IS THE FBI! OPEN THE DOOR AND SURRENDER THE CHILDREN OR WE WILL BUST THIS DOOR DOWN AND STOMP YOUR SORRY ASS!"
Exit, stage left!
*Editors note: that isn't me in the video, in case you were curious. I don't possess such awesome talent.
Don't be alarmed by the darkness that is mi casa, for it is now su casa as well. Here, let me sooth your fears by lighting a candle*. I'm sorry, did that act slightly disgust you? I'm sensitive to such emotions, for I can sense the disdain in your person and see the vomit on the floor. Worry not, for if that did not set the mood, perhaps some music will do the trick.
...Hmmm
I see that your clothes are still on. Maybe this is more up your alley.
...Hmmm
Well I tried my best. Anyway, that can't stop us from enjoying a delicious meal. I worked tirelessly to make sure this was the perfect dinner.
It takes over 35 minutes to cook in the microwave. I made it to show my dedication to our love. I'm sure you've already noticed that the door behind you is locked. It's good to see that you've made sure that even if you came down with a momentary case of insanity you wouldn't be able to leave and call the local authorities. You, my dear, are a delight! Before we dine on delicious radiation cuisine, let me give you a tour de force of my new castle. I moved out of the old one due to...unfortunate circumstances. Worry not about the scars covering my face; I'm not suicidal or anything, those are just from glass shards.
Oh, I do believe we've stumbled upon my "game room"!
As you can tell, I'm into the age old arts of "naughty". Rowr! Behave yourself for just a moment as we continue on. I assure you, we'll be returning to THAT particular room 30 minutes after diner, so as not to cramp up.
Opens basement door
"Please sir, may we eat this week?"
YOU'LL EAT WHEN I GET THAT THESIS PAPER FOR MY PSYCHOLOGY FINAL! AND IF ONE MORE OF YOU DROPS DEAD FROM MALNUTRITION, I'M REALLY GONNA GET ANGRY!
Slams door shut
*Sigh* I'm not even taking any classes...
I apologize for their retched odor. They bathe in their own filth, unfortunately. I wanted to show you my work room, but those children are so lazy I'm afraid hardly any work gets done around here! Hah! HAH HAH! Ah, jokes do so tickle my fancy. Speaking of tickling my fancy, if you'll follow me to the big screen that plays hardcore animal porn 24/7...
Banging on the door
Oh my word, will they ever give up? I'm sorry, but a rival company has been trying to lure my employees to work for them.
"THIS IS THE FBI! OPEN THE DOOR AND SURRENDER THE CHILDREN OR WE WILL BUST THIS DOOR DOWN AND STOMP YOUR SORRY ASS!"
Exit, stage left!
*Editors note: that isn't me in the video, in case you were curious. I don't possess such awesome talent.
YA BETTA ASK SOMEBODDDAAAAAYYYYYYYY!
- The French Biscuit
- Posts: 783
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- Location: Deep in the Heart of Saskatchewan
- IrishCream
- Posts: 238
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:30 pm
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- Posts: 856
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- Contact:
- IrishCream
- Posts: 238
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:30 pm
- The French Biscuit
- Posts: 783
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:04 pm
- Location: Deep in the Heart of Saskatchewan
I can take them.Fasheem wrote:What a gentleman, leaving Biscy alone to deal with the cops herself! Class, class all the way.
"Is this your anime, ma'am? You're going to have to come with us."
I have my trusty Flaming Croissants of DOOM!
and I'm too cute for prison.
Biscuit AWAY!
Your awesomeness is akin to bottling a hurricane. It cannot be done - Mr. Wallstreet
Your awesomeness is akin to bottling a hurricane. It cannot be done - Mr. Wallstreet
- The French Biscuit
- Posts: 783
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:04 pm
- Location: Deep in the Heart of Saskatchewan
- The French Biscuit
- Posts: 783
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:04 pm
- Location: Deep in the Heart of Saskatchewan
-
- Posts: 856
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:59 pm
- Location: Canada/USA border/crosser.
- Contact:
- The French Biscuit
- Posts: 783
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:04 pm
- Location: Deep in the Heart of Saskatchewan
- IrishCream
- Posts: 238
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:30 pm
- Mr Wallstreet
- Posts: 3734
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 10:21 pm
Is it just me or does Irish sound suspiciously like this guy:IrishCream wrote:
Don't be alarmed by the darkness that is mi casa, for it is now su casa as well. Here, let me sooth your fears by lighting a candle*. I'm sorry, did that act slightly disgust you? I'm sensitive to such emotions, for I can sense the disdain in your person and see the vomit on the floor. Worry not, for if that did not set the mood, perhaps some music will do the trick.
...Hmmm
I see that your clothes are still on. Maybe this is more up your alley.
...Hmmm
Well I tried my best. Anyway, that can't stop us from enjoying a delicious meal. I worked tirelessly to make sure this was the perfect dinner.
- Tragic Angelus
- Posts: 3397
- Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 4:44 pm
- Location: Indiana
- IrishCream
- Posts: 238
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:30 pm
- IrishCream
- Posts: 238
- Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:30 pm