Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part.
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.'
Today I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser, thinking it was a Valentine's gift , I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog has died since I have been away.
“The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane.†- Nikola Tesla
You're a real asshole when you're drunk, Superman.
William McDert wrote:FML is great. I'm so happy that Stumbleupon led me to it's glory. Some of them seem fake but at least they are always good for a chuckle.
You read enough of them that some turn out to be exactly the same as each other, and/or exactly the same as funny quotes you see poking around the internet. Kind of sucks, but still funny.
"French is like anal, exotic but oh so unnecessary."
