Cogito, Ergo Doleo

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Sat Aug 14, 2010 10:48 am

Haha, it's not really that much of a problem. My problems are mostly genetic so I'm used to it by now, just the usual burst up at night and such. It's possible writing a novella will help me deal with some of my problems? Not sure, lol. I've had this idea in my head for quite some time about writing a story about my ex-roommate to maybe help me get over that.

And my job...is the same, lol. We're in a slight slump right now so it's pretty boring just "babysitting"

ChimeraCreative · Post by **ChimeraCreative** » Sun Aug 15, 2010 3:26 am

I'd love to have a job. I'd love to of had a shrink. Your life's looking pretty good to me right now, Almonds. ^_^

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Tue Aug 17, 2010 10:16 pm

According to the date, I'm now 26. Yay? I had such high hopes for 25 due to music (Jimmy Eat World's lyric of "even at 25 you gotta start sometime") and while a lot did happen, not everything I wanted to. The good was obviously moving out and graduating finally. The not-so-great was having a "coffee date" and it going horrible for me. I had hopes (as each year, lol) that I would be granted my first kiss. No such luck, just teasing from songs (3OH!3's My First Kiss) and the usual "I've watched so much porn I dream that every day events will turn into a porno" type stuff. But, alas, I didn't take a shot at all and if I don't try I won't succeed. I know that, and I know it's something I need to work on. That's why this time around I'm actually NOT expecting anything to happen, basically I'm conceding

Here's to you, 26, may you treat me well.

wolf_2099 · Post by **wolf_2099** » Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:15 am

Why did the date go so badly?

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Wed Aug 18, 2010 1:19 am

Well, I got bored within 30 minutes and it didn't end for another 2 hours or so. Talking to her was like pulling teeth. Plus I felt we didn't really have a lot of things in common, and a couple of things really put me off. I don't really care for looks but personality is really big thing...

wolf_2099 · Post by **wolf_2099** » Wed Aug 18, 2010 2:30 pm

What bored you about her?

Did she just have no interesting things about her?

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Thu Aug 19, 2010 4:26 pm

Truthfully I don't even remember anymore, I try not to think about. I know there were some warning signs for me. We didn't like the same music, she'd never even heard of some of my favorite bands. While she liked to read she never finished any books. That's really all I can remember besides her only eating non-gluten things (which considering I'm a baker pretty much sucks). It wasn't a pleasant experience for me lol.

ChimeraCreative · Post by **ChimeraCreative** » Thu Aug 19, 2010 5:30 pm

Is the former roommate you're somewhat obsessed with a cake eating, headbanging, maniac reader? ^_^

I'm not trying to be rude, heh, I'm just curious if you know what qualities you're looking for in a ladyfriend.

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Thu Aug 19, 2010 5:49 pm

I don't even know what I want, obviously I want something similar to me but different in some aspects.

You can ask Jack about my former roommate, he hated her with a passion. She drank like a fish (that's actually one of the main reasons I ran away). She was a pathological liar when she was drunk, which was almost all the time. She was extremely promiscuous (she once slept with 3 different guys in a one week period, with 2 of those 3 being one-night stands). She used to tease me endlessly about the fact I had never been kissed (and she also liked to tell other people about it) . She didn't keep friends for very long (I was friends with her for about 8 months and many of her friends came and went, never to return). She would walk around in her bra yet if when I once complimented her on a dress she was wearing she said I made her uncomfortable, wtf? On that topic as well, she decided on her own that we both agreed we were just friends with no sexual tension, yet she continued telling me all about the sex she was getting/giving. I hated that she'd take stuff from my room (my candle lighter always disappeared, when I gave my resignation for some reason my PS2 was switched with hers). Yet with all that shit she did to me, she made me happy most of the time. She forced herself onto me (not in that way, pervs) and made me do things I wasn't used to (again, not in that way). I felt like those 8 months with her were the most exciting I've had in a decade or so. I've had fun experiences, but she actually made me feel like I was alive and wanted. Basically she forced me out of my shell, which I've since doubled up on.

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:32 pm

Went to the doc today for my pinched nerve. Whenever medical/family history time comes it's fucking hilarious. Family is worse due to how screwed we are genetically, luckily mom and both local brothers go to the same doc as well so I basically said "just check their files." Of course since we all have different last names (both brothers from my mom's husband before my dad, then mom got remarried after divorcing my dad) they get confused and wonder if she's a foster mom (they actually asked "and she's not your genetic mother, right" bout laughed my ass off when they said that). So the doc confirmed it's likely a pinched nerve and recommended physical therapy to strengthen my core muscles. Had hoped to get blood work done so I had fasted for 13 hours (damn you, late appointments) but he was too busy. Oh well, guess I'll have to make another appointment for that.

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Thu Sep 02, 2010 6:49 pm

...I don't know why but I just wrote this big thing about how I was feeling and decided I didn't want to bring anyone down and deleted it all. Joy.

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:49 pm

I'm in a much better mood today, yay! Deleted my last depressive post from yesterday, love doing that.

Today Cap'n Jack and I put together out ECOmposter. It literally took the 2 hours it said it would, did not expect that. Threw some old nasty food stuff in it, so we're officially composting, whoot! Maybe it's true what people say, getting a healthy dose of the sun lightens the mood? This is the most I've been out in the sun all summer so it's possible.

My dad had surgery to remove some creepy shit on his throat, and there was a tumor/cancer scare but the oncologist gave him the a-ok after sticking tubes down/up his throat and butt. So that's good, got really worried about it (plus when I couldn't contact him or my brother yesterday got even more worried).

I'm finally having a cookout at my place on Labor Day to have people check it out. So far Dan has had a lot of friends and I've had 1...who only saw the house before we renovated and moved in, lol. So far only 2 have "signed up" but I'm hoping to get some others to do it. Either way I'm sure it'll be a blast.

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Tue Sep 07, 2010 12:18 am

So I did something COMPLETELY unlike anything I've ever done and hosted a house party/cookout tonight. My anxiety was really screwing with me the past couple of days leading up to, mainly due to no one really confirming (as stated in my last post). Ended up having 12 people (9 adults and 3 kids):
-a co-worker and her husband [they brought me a house warming gift of wine, and she said she knows I don't drink so it's more for others; tempted to try it out, red wine is supposed to be good for you, on to research it!)
-4 of my Star Wars Minis/RPG friends (2 of which showed up midway through when the next group was getting ready to leave)
-a girl I went to elementary school with but haven't seen in 7 years since graduation, her husband, her 2 children, her friend (who was a grade below me in high school evidently) and her child

My friend from school always posts on Facebook about doing cookouts and stuff with her friends so I was glad she was able to come out. It was kind of funny, she almost didn't go because she didn't want to go alone and that's when she convinced her friend to go. The funny thing is her friend is someone I've always wanted to add on Facebook because I see her commenting all the time but since I didn't know her I didn't feel comfortable doing it. It was nice catching up and semi-reminiscing with my friend, hope to be able to do stuff with her another time (and hopefully with our other friends she's close with that I talk on Facebook and also haven't seen in 7 years that were tempted to come tonight but couldn't).

The big thing that made me happy tonight is that I didn't drift into any anti-social behaviour, yay! I went to one of my friend's b-day party the other night at Dave & Busters but completely fell into a slight depression and anti-social behaviour where I just felt I had to get out and didn't want to talk to anyone, led me to leave early and blame it on my 5 hours of sleep in 36 hours (which was partially true, I did end up sleeping something like 10 hours after that). So for me not freaking out tonight, especially with 3 different groups of friends who don't know each other, I think it turned out quite well. No problems with me grilling, they all (claimed) to love the desserts. Got to experiment with several (a vanilla cheesecake with cinnamon roll crust and apple pie topping with icing laced across) and then I tried to do Bananas Fosters but it failed cause I didn't follow the recipe besides the ingredients so it turned to mush yet was still yummy. I had friends over from 6:30 until 1:30, definitely a crazy night for me!

XIII · Post by **XIII** » Mon Sep 13, 2010 2:48 pm

Your desserts sound delicious. Glad to hear the party went well.

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:43 pm

If you ever come over to the States and to my state you'll be able to partake in them ^_^ The current recipe I'm gonna try is Pumpkin & Kahlua Marbled Cheesecake, which sounds weird but everyone tells me it sounds great.

ChimeraCreative · Post by **ChimeraCreative** » Mon Sep 13, 2010 6:24 pm

Yeah, pumpkin and Kahlua sounds a little messed up to put together. O.o Back in the day I made pumpkin cheesecakes with a gingerbread crust that drew mixed reactions. I wholeheartedly support a gingerbread crust, just with a different filling.

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Mon Sep 13, 2010 10:44 pm

The gingerbread might have overpowered the pumpkin. Generally pumpkin isn't too strong, but gingerbread is usually very strong. So maybe next time cut back on the spices in the gingerbread. Or use something like apple strudel. Might be something for me to test and see how it turns out. Did you use actual bread-gingerbread, or gingerbread cookies?

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Mon Oct 18, 2010 7:53 pm

My grandpa passed away today. He's been ready for quite some time now, likely since his wife passed away last year. He basically just lost the will to live, even trying to get put into hospice before he was ready. Literally, the refused to take him in! But we knew it was coming, and my David (my stepdad, his son) had finally accepted it. Family had been coming in from out of town for awhile to visit. I really hate myself right now for not going to visit him, I wish I had.

On the funny side of things, my mom and stepdad are out of town on vacation and when they got the news they sent out text messages to let people know. Mom accidentally entered my number wrong and got a response of, "who are you? who has died?" She was so embarrassed, she couldn't believe she did that.

I commemorated grandpas memory by going to Skyline and getting some chili, one of his favorite foods.

Tragic Angelus · Post by **Tragic Angelus** » Mon Oct 18, 2010 8:34 pm

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandfather, and I hope you and your family can get through this together. I know it's never easy, but I hope you and your family are holding through right now.

The French Biscuit · Post by **The French Biscuit** » Mon Oct 18, 2010 9:00 pm

Sorry for your loss, how are you and your family doing?