Online Personals...
Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:18 pm
So I'm browsing through the interwebs on a boring Thursday night while wondering where my social life has gone (hint: I left it in another time zone!). Suddenly, I come across this golden little nugget:
Profile: Angel's Guardian Slayer
I am a... Boy ...seeking a... Girl, I guess.
Interests:
David Boreanaz, crappy ska music, wearing ridiculous sun glasses, blond skinny chicks that have bodies resembling that of little boys, drama (fun drama, not girl drama)
About Me:
Whatever. Fine. I dunno why I'm doing this. I kinda have a girlfriend already, but she recently came down with an inflammation of cooties. Also, I'm sick of trying to slay pillow pants (don't get me started on Listerfiend). So lame. Life is such a human misery, which is why I'm able to fully immerse myself in the mystic arts of street theater. It is the last true artistic expression of our generation. Unfortunately, some of my roles require me to dress in drag and I've been arrested 3 times for trying to sell myself for prostitution. I guess I should also mention I haven't aged in a good 5-6 years. And I don't mean cosmetically, I mean physically I'm the same. My organs, heart, skin, penis: everything's the same. Ugh. So lame.
Our First Date:
Our "date" would have to start early, since I'm not sure when the Chuck E' Cheeses in your town closes. I happen to find ski ball stimulating both mentally and physically. I dare you not to become aroused as my arm strains to lift/hurl that 3 pound ball and the sweat steams my glasses. I dare you not to look, harlot!
...I went over the edge there. I'll apologize over an extra cheese pizza and a pitcher of pepsi while the mechanical band plays.
Extra photos:
Profile: Angel's Guardian Slayer
I am a... Boy ...seeking a... Girl, I guess.
Interests:
David Boreanaz, crappy ska music, wearing ridiculous sun glasses, blond skinny chicks that have bodies resembling that of little boys, drama (fun drama, not girl drama)
About Me:
Whatever. Fine. I dunno why I'm doing this. I kinda have a girlfriend already, but she recently came down with an inflammation of cooties. Also, I'm sick of trying to slay pillow pants (don't get me started on Listerfiend). So lame. Life is such a human misery, which is why I'm able to fully immerse myself in the mystic arts of street theater. It is the last true artistic expression of our generation. Unfortunately, some of my roles require me to dress in drag and I've been arrested 3 times for trying to sell myself for prostitution. I guess I should also mention I haven't aged in a good 5-6 years. And I don't mean cosmetically, I mean physically I'm the same. My organs, heart, skin, penis: everything's the same. Ugh. So lame.
Our First Date:
Our "date" would have to start early, since I'm not sure when the Chuck E' Cheeses in your town closes. I happen to find ski ball stimulating both mentally and physically. I dare you not to become aroused as my arm strains to lift/hurl that 3 pound ball and the sweat steams my glasses. I dare you not to look, harlot!
...I went over the edge there. I'll apologize over an extra cheese pizza and a pitcher of pepsi while the mechanical band plays.
Extra photos:
