Junky vs. U.S. Capitalism: WHO YA GOT?!?

IrishCream · Post by **IrishCream** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:52 pm

vs.

We knew this was coming to a head one day. Mainly because Junky won't shut the fuck up about it. So now it comes to this: a sexually depraved mad man hippy bent on radical change vs. sexually addicted mad men hippsters bent on radical conformity. Lets see how they size up:

Contestants
Junkogen
Capitalism

Intro Song
Junk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW8o1AFgX9Y&feature=related
Capitalism: (the first lyrics are strangely hilarious considering the shit going on nowandays) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lng7iFzSVGI

Obvious Enemy
Junk: Mr. Wallstreet
Capitalism: Socialism

Secret Enemy
Junk: Socialism
Capitalism: Mr. Wallstreet

Favorite Sexual Position
Junk: Sex
Capitalsim: Doggy style, no staring me in the eye

#1 Wish
Junk: That we all work on farms and share vegetables or some shit. I dunno, I don't really pay attention
Capitalism: To fuck you in the ass. Proper fucked, of course

Biggest Cheerleader
Junk: Mother Earth...and CC, because she cheers for everyone
Capitalism:

Finishing Move
Junk: http://www.videosift.com/video/Tim-Robins-explains-how-corporations-are-bad-Team-America
Capitalism: Good luck accessing your bank accounts MUTHAFUKA!

MGM · Post by **MGM** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:57 pm

Junk's got noooo chance. Sorry, but I see Wally stabbing Junk in the back quicker than you can say Cruz. Who'll be bought by capitalism for Wally for his services.

William McDert · Post by **William McDert** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:19 pm

Capitalism shall regret the day it ever took on the budding bearded boy of bacterial befuddlement

ChimeraCreative · Post by **ChimeraCreative** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:41 pm

I want to say Capitalism would wipe the floor with Junk, but I dunno... I don't know what Junk would consider a 'win' against Capitalism. ^_^

IrishCream · Post by **IrishCream** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:46 pm

I'm willing to take requests for the next "WHO YA GOT?" But for now, lets focus on Junky's inadequacies.

Mr Wallstreet · Post by **Mr Wallstreet** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:47 pm

IrishCream wrote:lets focus on Junky's inadequacies.

All of em?! Jeez man, we'll be here till next year

IrishCream · Post by **IrishCream** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:49 pm

I thought "Inadequacies" was what he named his penis and testicles?

Mr Wallstreet · Post by **Mr Wallstreet** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:51 pm

Killing Junkogen would be like killing Chewbacca

MGM · Post by **MGM** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:53 pm

IrishCream wrote:

Oh, and BTW, I like how you use the only existing picture of a marxist ever used in a captilistic way to portray Junk's vendetaa against capitalism.

CBKA · Post by **CBKA** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:56 pm

IrishCream wrote:I thought "Inadequacies" was what he named his penis and testicles?

Mr Wallstreet · Post by **Mr Wallstreet** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:56 pm

IrishCream wrote:
#1 Wish
Junk: That we all work on farms and share vegetables or some shit. I dunno, I don't really pay attention

He wants us all to be

sharecroppers for "The State"

IrishCream · Post by **IrishCream** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:00 pm

MGM wrote:Oh, and BTW, I like how you use the only existing picture of a marxist ever used in a captilistic way to portray Junk's vendetaa against capitalism.

Subtle satire is pretty humorous. Especially when someone actually gets it.

Mr Wallstreet · Post by **Mr Wallstreet** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:03 pm

IrishCream wrote:I'm willing to take requests for the next "WHO YA GOT?" But for now, lets focus on Junky's inadequacies.

I'd rather talk about his scruffy appearence. He looks so cool, like an unwashed vagrant

IrishCream · Post by **IrishCream** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:08 pm

I know, he's such a rebel

IrishCream · Post by **IrishCream** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:24 pm

CBKA wrote:

I used the proper medical terms...

CBKA · Post by **CBKA** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:42 pm

IrishCream wrote:I used the proper medical terms...

Would anal rape not be considered the proper medical term?

I don't know but i would imagine so.

(the use of anal rape in any context = :ban:

)

IrishCream · Post by **IrishCream** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:44 pm

Used in context it should be fine. Used in practice...

it's awesome

just kidding

Crash · Post by **Crash** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:16 pm

IrishCream wrote:I thought "Inadequacies" was what he named his penis and testicles?

It does have "nad" right there in the middle of it.

Mr Wallstreet · Post by **Mr Wallstreet** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:16 pm

IrishCream · Post by **IrishCream** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:23 pm

Hmmm...think the next match-up should be all-female. Probably not gonna include sexual penetration in it. Sorry, gents.