Bored? Google the following then...

Stocky Boy · Post by **Stocky Boy** » Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:35 pm

... type your name followed by, "needs" into Google and see what funny shit comes back.

So, for me, it's "Andy needs"

First result was:

"Andy needs a BAD girl to find his focus..."

later result:
"Andy Needs to Keep His Roddick In His Pants"

I got this idea from a Friday afternoon work email. Originally the email came from someone called Gemma, who gets the following up as the first result:

"Gemma needs to learn to keep her dumb ***** trap shut before I shut it for her".

Gold!

Fasheem · Post by **Fasheem** » Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:51 pm

I was going to cheekily post the first result which is just a messageboard post describing the game but then this one caught my eye:

Jess needs a home whereby she will be the only pet as she deserves 100% attention.

Tragic Angelus · Post by **Tragic Angelus** » Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:55 pm

:D:D

First Result:

Ed needs a Hummer!
Ed Needs A HUMMER. Please give a gift of love and kindness to Ed. That's right...your gift can make Ed one happy, humming HUMMER owner

I didn't think much could top that.

JediMindTrick · Post by **JediMindTrick** » Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:00 am

Brad needs to get real with himself and the people that he claims to love, because if he does not then he will be not unlike my own father....

and my personal favorite...

Brad needs babies!

Mr Wallstreet · Post by **Mr Wallstreet** » Sun Feb 22, 2009 8:59 am

My first few hits weren't that great.

Eventually I got:

"Farhan Needs Higher Goals" Which is kind of true/funny

then:

"Farhan needs to find his child protagonists very soon" which made me go

The French Biscuit · Post by **The French Biscuit** » Sun Feb 22, 2009 11:14 am

1) Stephanie needs to be in a family where there are no other children or animals.

No other children or animals?!

I reject #1

2)Stephanie needs some help. Look at those pants! Should have stayed on the sidewalk!

*looks at pants* But I like these pants!

wolf_2099 · Post by **wolf_2099** » Sun Feb 22, 2009 2:14 pm

What the hell pants are you talking about?

Cameron needs facial surgery after collision.
That is ominous.

Stocky Boy · Post by **Stocky Boy** » Sun Feb 22, 2009 4:58 pm

Sounds like Cameron didn't, "keep his whore mouth shut..."

wolf_2099 · Post by **wolf_2099** » Sun Feb 22, 2009 6:23 pm

I met the pimp hand. I met it good.

XIII · Post by **XIII** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 4:33 am

"Monsieur Arnaud needs her to energise his life,"

"Arnaud needs Adobe Reader"

"Arnaud needs the ball at his feet as often as possible"

I like the first one the best.

William McDert · Post by **William McDert** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:34 am

Shlomo needs to import long wooden beams from Lebanon to support the large roofs of these buildings.

I will get right on it.

CBKA · Post by **CBKA** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:11 am

apparently theres a dj called chris needs which kinda fucks up the game

MGM · Post by **MGM** » Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:59 pm

Michel Needs No Introduction.

I fail to see whether this is good or bad.

jedispyder · Post by **jedispyder** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 11:55 pm

Funny ones:
Chris needs a job
Chris needs a haircut
Chris needs a wee-wee
Chris needs to give me cancer

Mr Wallstreet · Post by **Mr Wallstreet** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 9:35 am

That last one is kinda messed up

CBKA · Post by **CBKA** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 9:41 am

his last one made me laugh:reddevil:

The French Biscuit · Post by **The French Biscuit** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 1:48 pm

*tries again*

Stephanie needs Australia.

Stephanie needs you BAD.

Stephanie needs a loving home

Stephanie needs a training bra.

Stocky Boy · Post by **Stocky Boy** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:33 pm

"Handsome Stocky Bottom Needs Attention" WTF?

Fucking craigslist, honestly!

"looking for a stocky old man that needs regular service to completion". Eh?

Come on! What is this!

Oh yeah, try your username.

Tragic Angelus · Post by **Tragic Angelus** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 7:16 pm

Edward needs sunscreen.

Edward B needs a hug and some cupcakes.

And I tried Edbert just for you, but got nothing. Though there is some tropical Edbert Island paradise.. I'm thinking I'm gonna lay claim to it and then not invite anyone